When life gives you grapes – you make wine…..

I stated in a post a couple of days ago that a loved one of mine is very ill. It’s my father and it tears me up. Many of you family and friends know the details but I have had a number of people ask what is going on. I am finally ready to share.

We noticed during Christmas of 2010 that he seemed to be more tired than normal as well as really irritable. As the days went on he was able to use less and less of his left side. He went to the doctor in August and the doctor told him not to drive home. For a guy like my dad who LIVES AND BREATHES CARS it was devastating for him. Especially since his current ride is a Porsche Boxter. My husband and I retrieved his car and parked it in the garage. A few weeks later, my father had a tumor removed from his brain. We were grateful because it was benign.

Below is a photo of my husband in my dad’s car on a trip we took for our anniversary a couple of years ago. That road was full of switchbacks and was so fun! This is the car that he wants to get behind the wheel of again.

However, the remainder of the tumor that the surgeons couldn’t get grew back. Even though we don’t have an official diagnosis of Cancer, he underwent radiation and chemo. He started in February if I remember correctly, the first week my mom got him to and from the hospital OK. That weekend he slept – all weekend. When my mom had to run out for a while I checked on him. Yep still sleeping.

Monday night I got a call from my mom asking for help (we don’t live that far away). My dad had fallen off the couch and she was not strong enough to get him back on. My husband and I went over to help. It took the three of us an hour to get him from the floor in front of the couch to the couch. Needless to say he slept downstairs that night. I remember vividly how helpless my dad seemed. He was relying on us for help and he was in so much pain. I remember looking at him and thinking if this was my husband I would do whatever it took to help him and make him comfortable. It really shook my husband and I up.

When the physical therapist came the next morning they wanted to take him back to the hospital.

He has not been home ever since.

Through the progression of what is going on with him. His left side has become useless. He went through five more weeks of chemo and radiation and that was interrupted by two hospital stays because he was dehydrated. His kidneys even failed a couple times. He has been either in a nursing home or the hospital. Just shy of two weeks ago he finished his radiation and chemo and is now in an adult family home. The first few times I visited all he would do was sleep and I would sit there in his room sending him love and healing thoughts. He’s been more awake of late and we are encouraged by his progression. There is a dog that lives at the home named Mac. He’s an Australian Shepard Lab mix. He’s a three-month old puppy and so sweet and soft. He loves sleeping under my dad’s bed and I like to think that gives him comfort.

Last Saturday I took my dad’s car out for the day. It was sunny and I had the top down. I went to visit him and told him he needs to learn to walk again so I can take him for a spin in his car and my husband wants to take him to Cars and Coffee which is a local meetup for guys who love cars.

It’s been a rough road and I have other things on my mind. I try to stay positive and my mom and I have grown closer through this. We are going to eastern Washington tomorrow for two days to enjoy some wineries and relax.

We both need it.

Please send healing thoughts my dad’s way.



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3 responses to “When life gives you grapes – you make wine…..

  1. “The first few times I visited all he would do was sleep and I would sit there in his room sending him love and healing thoughts.”
    I am doing the same. Thanks for sharing and enjoy your break.

  2. Pingback: I am my father’s daughter… | take life with a grain of chocolate

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